What Is the Body Language of a Cheater?

Being in a committed relationship means you have dedicated your personal and romantic endeavours to one person. It should be an unspoken agreement of trust where you know that you are only intimate with that person and them with you. Unfortunately, some people don’t appear to honour that commitment, and you suspect that they are cheating.

How can you be sure that your partner is being unfaithful? Unless you catch them in the act, it can be tough to prove your claims. Infidelity investigations can help you collect evidence of a cheating partner.

There are telltale signs to look for. This is the body language of a cheater.

There Is No More PDA

Most people in a loving relationship show affection to each other. While it is common to be expressive at home, while out in public, couples often show their affection with things like:

  • Kissing
  • Hugging
  • Holding hands
  • Playful touching

If you notice that your partner stops doing this, it may be because they have something else going on. This is a shift away from normal, intimate behaviour, and it is easy to notice. PDA can organically decline as the relationship advances, but anything drastically lower than the current baseline is a red flag.

Being cold and distant may indicate they get this public affection from someone else.

Eye Contact Changes

The eyes are the windows to the soul, but they can also give you a glimpse of a cheater.

No Eye Contact

A cheater will look away to avoid eye contact when asked a direct question, especially about where they spend time away from you. This is because they want to sidestep the question and can steer the conversation away or ignore your questioning.

Too Much Eye Contact

On the other end is gazing into your eyes like they are caught in headlights when you ask a direct question. They are frozen, trying to find an answer to satisfy you instead of speaking the truth without worry. It is also a way for them to try and overcompensate for their cheating by showing you they have a strong bond.


Blinking is another sign that something is up when you ask questions. It usually indicates that they are thinking as they wrestle with an excuse to tell you, and it is usually followed up with a lie to cover their tracks.

Personal Self Improvements

Working on yourself to be healthy and happy is always a good idea. This should be encouraged, but look out if you see a sudden change in personal care that isn’t discussed with you or is part of your shared health journey.

When a person has a second relationship on the side, they often want to improve their looks to please a new partner. Some signs of this include:

  • New grooming and hygiene routine
  • Buying a new wardrobe
  • Getting a gym membership
  • Wearing cologne more often, especially when going out alone
  • Taking up a new hobby out of nowhere

These all point to a change in your partner’s view of themselves, independent of you, and it is cause for concern.

Negative Cluster Clues

Cluster clues are groups of body language actions that can be positive or negative. Singly, you may not take much notice, but when you put them together, they indicate a broader pattern of negative actions that could point to infidelity.

These negative actions can be:

  • Flinching or moving away when you touch them
  • A change in facial expression when asked to see their phone or read out their text messages
  • Lack of intimacy or any affection
  • Sighs or changes in their vocal tone when you ask questions about their working late or other unexplained absences
  • They often sit facing away from you

You can also notice positive body language around the person you suspect they are cheating with.

Conversation Is Sparse

When someone is interested in you as a partner, they want to converse with you. They are interested in sharing their thoughts and are genuinely excited about your words. If you notice that this has changed and they don’t try to hold a conversation or ignore you, they are not interested in you but rather have someone else in mind.

Their attention may be on their computer or smartphone, with social media and other apps dominating their life when at home. Conversation helps us stay connected and build deeper trust and love, but if your partner isn’t giving it to you, someone else is getting it.

Changes Between the Sheets

A cheater cheats to get intimacy from someone else, and it is because of their problems, not yours. They have chosen to seek out sexual contact elsewhere, and you will notice the change when you share a bed. It could be that they avoid intimacy altogether or put in minimal effort to “get the job done.“ On the other side of the scale, a cheater may be more robust than before because of their guilt.

This is the body language of a cheater, and it can be devastating when you discover it. While the act of cheating can disrupt your life dramatically, it is better to recognize the signs so you can decide what is best for you and your heart going forward.

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